Confessions of an Imaginative Commuter

The title of this post is misleading, because now you're thinking that what follows is purely my imagination. But that is false. Everything I'm about to tell you actually happened. I merely observe and report.

In case you haven't heard, I recently got myself a grownup job. (I'm working in the Digital Media Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.) That's right, people! I drive to an office building every day where I sit at a desk, look at a computer, and click the mouse. Sometimes I even type things.

They gave me two computers and four monitors, to optimize my clicking efficiency.

Because my job is super grownup and important. Like me.

Now, a lesson in geography:

I live in Provo. I work in Salt Lake City. They are not the same place.

This is a map that I drew myself, for your convenience:

Therefore, I drive. To Salt Lake. From Provo.




Once, I saw an over-sized load containing huge metal cylinders. I'm not saying they were headed for outer space, but they definitely weren't your regular building ingredients. Actually, I am saying they were headed for outer space. I'm sure of it.

What will they be used for in outer space, you ask? There are two options. The first is water storage. Which...would be lame. Granted, even a water barrel in outer space would be pretty cool, but of all the things you might find there, a giant canteen would not be the most exciting.

The second option is robot parts. HUGE robot parts for building HUGE robots to fight the space-dinos. Which I do not support, by the way. Leave those poor innocent space-dinos alone, government!

This is a real space-dino, literally moon-walking at a dance party in space.

Another time, a cartoon plumber on the side of a truck came to life and gave me life advice. In song form.

Don't judge me for the quality of this picture because I took it while I was driving. Safety first!

Imagine the following words set to music like this, which I made in GarageBand and is not quality music:

"Hey girl. I know you're doubting yourself, but there's no need. You're the bomb. You rock at life. You can do hard things.

"I look into your future and I see greatness. Don't you?

"Now dance. Dance like the old woman in the car next to you isn't watching.

"Just dance. Dance like you're driving down the freeway. Safety first!"

Speaking of dancing, I can't stop listening to this song.

Last week I took this picture:

The driver I intended to capture cannot be seen because I'm a good driver.

Buuuut he looked a little something like this:

Only older. And more Asian. And his tie-dye shirt had a white collar.

Anyway, I think he was maybe an alien that was doing a horrible job of blending into humanity. I think he was even driving a SPACE POD.

I have a theory about this. He was a spy. I think he was a space-dino actively hunting down the giant robot parts. I hope he succeeds. I can't support an intergalactic war against the space-dinos. But. I will not get into politics on my blog.

Instead, here is a picture I laughed at:

Also, if I hear that freaking Cool Kids song on the radio again, I will throw a rock through the window...of a building scheduled for demolition. Sheesh, I'm not a monster.

So anyway, I'll keep keeping an eye out for interesting things on my commute. I'm also going to start taking the train, which should provide additional observations.

Happy Tuesday!

1 Thing a Person Can Do to TRULY Be More Attractive

Disclaimer: I am biased. I am a nobody.

As I sit here examining the dark, thick hair on my arms, wearing my push-up bra, and binging on Netflix, I'm reminded of the one thing a man (or woman) can do to TRULY be more attractive.

1. Don't make a list of attributes for a person that does not exist. Instead, try getting to know a person and then learn to love them.

If you get to know a person and it doesn't work out, then awesome. Move on.

But don't go around trying to fill the mold of ideals that you think will make you happy. Because we don't know as much as we think we do.

I'm not trying to make excuses for selfish (or abusive) people that won't change. I just think that everyone should start things with an open mind and few expectations. You might will be surprised.

I'm not wise, but if I've learned two things in my young life, it's that people are never what they seem, and I am often wrong.

I've learned (the hard way) that people change your mind.

I've learned that the people who admit their mistakes are often the best people I know.

I've learned that, even when we're not pretending to be perfect, we're pretending that we're fine with it. It's ok to feel broken.

I've learned that I'm still learning.

It's ok to look for a kind, charitable, interesting person. But this isn't a thing that people need to be made aware of. Everyone is already trying to find/be a good person. Kindness isn't something that belongs on a list with something like "remove your disgusting and totally natural/normal body hair even though it's not really something you can control."

I could make a specific list of things I find attractive. But you know what? That changes as I get to know people. It really, really does. My list from 5 years ago would definitely not be my list now.

And that's normal. Because guess what, even if you found a person that completely embodies every item on your list, they aren't going to be that way forever. People change. People improve. They improve in ways you didn't know were possible or desirable.