The Matchmaker was white, the luchador was a short girl, and La Roux was a straight man.
But anything goes on Halloween.
Halloween is my FAVORITE.
The night began at a party they had helped plan themselves.
People were there, food was good, music was bumpin'...
But they needed more.
Sometimes a person needs to run around, jump off of things, kick walls, and yell as loud as possible. There were three of these people at the party.
La Roux and Luchador found each other first. Dancing maniacally quenched the rage for a short time, but soon it was not enough.
La Roux mentioned trick-or-treating. Without a second thought, they were sprinting around the neighborhood collecting candy and doing cartwheels. Oh, to be a kid again!
Four houses was enough. Candy, pencils, glow sticks, and the rush of nighttime Autumn air was all they needed.
Amped, they returned to the party and stashed their treasures.
There, they discovered Matchmaker, who was also itching for adventure. There was a whole Halloween world out there, and this unlikely band of costumed crazies needed to discover it!
They decided to run around doing anything and everything they could.
Bolting around Provo, La Roux cat-called and body-rolled for anyone we saw. Luchador leaped and screamed. Matchmaker karate-kicked every passing object.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS NUTS.
(Also, switching from "they" to "we" because this is getting hard.)
The first promising thing we we came across was a church building. The building thumped and laser lights shot out of the second-story windows. There was obviously a party happening. And it was about to get crashed. We busted down the doors and confidently entered. The first level was full of those partiers that value well-lit areas, conversation, and food over dancing. They mulled about, talking to each other. We immediately passed through them and headed for the madness, but not before we noticed something.
Every person in the building was Asian.
We shrugged it off and entered the dance anyway. Everyone there was Asian, too, but it didn't matter! It was dark and we were dancing our butts off. Plus what's the point of crashing a party unless you obviously don't belong there?
Suddenly, the music stopped and the lights came on. We briefly panicked. We were impostors! But we played it cool by keeping our heads down. Somebody at the front of the room started talking. He announced a costume contest. We had not been discovered.
BUT WAIT. A...costume contest, you say? At an Asian party? How terribly, horrifically perfect. Luchador and La Roux turned to look at Matchmaker, sly grins on our faces. Matchmaker wasn't about to enter the contest. So, thinking quickly, Luchador offered to join with her. We headed for the front.
But alas, this story contains betrayal! Luchador turned around at the last second, letting Matchmaker unknowingly join the contest alone!
The announcer went down the line one-by-one, presenting each contestant to the crowd. We quickly learned that he knew each of them by name.
"Here we have so-and-so, as Katniss Everdeen!" *cheers* "Next up is so-and-so, as Queen Elsa!" *cheers*
Then he got to Matchmaker. He said nothing, just unceremoniously pointed at her. La Roux and Luchador went nuts. Everyone else politely clapped.
The winner was announced and they turned the lights back off. We found each other and left the building faster than The Flash can tie his shoes.
Once outside, we busted up. Our white friend had just joined an Asian party costume contest, dressed as an Asian. YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS STUFF.
We had just gotten a taste of party crashing. So we headed to the infamous Village, where annoying, rich people live and throw big parties. But it was a straight-up GHOST TOWN. I'm pretty sure an actual tumbleweed rolled through the empty courtyard. Odd, to be sure, but something even more odd was approaching from the North.
Nearing us was a large group of people dressed normally except for their masks. They were all wearing either Unicorn masks or Panda masks. Without really thinking, we joined their ranks. Were they a terrifying cult? Maybe. But we followed them anyway.
They approached a house party. It became clear that this cult was not invited to the house party any more than we were. We all entered together, parting the guests like the Red Sea. Then we danced our butts off for about 60 seconds, while everyone watched. Unicorn, Panda, Luchador, Matchmaker, La Roux, it didn't matter. Together, we were the Unicorn Crasher Cult.
Without a word, we left the house, leaving the guests confused and probably annoyed. One of the Unicorns took off her mask. A long-lost friend of Matchmaker and Luchador! We hadn't seen her in ages, and we didn't know she'd joined a party-crashing Unicorn/Panda cult. Twas truly a Halloween miracle.
We separated ourselves from the cult. Party crashing was something we could get behind, but we weren't sure what the other cult beliefs were. We made our way back home, parkouring through The Village.
As we cartwheeled passed a large window, we glanced inside and noticed a rich girl and a rich guy sitting on the couch watching a scary movie. Guy had is arm around Girl, and was obviously paying more attention to her than the movie. Girl stared blankly at the screen. Both seemed a little nervous. They didn't see us staring at them through the window.
(Let me...justify this. Yes, we were watching people through their window. And yes, that is creepy. But hang on a second. This was OK for the following four reasons. 1) Anything creepy is legal on Halloween. 2) The blinds were not shut. So if they really wanted privacy they could've had it. 3) The window was by the sidewalk, so we technically we weren't trespassing. 4) Because of the public window placement, we didn't seek this out. The opportunity presented itself.)
Then, AS WE WATCHED, Guy made his move. He leaned in to kiss Girl. Right as they were about to make contact, La Roux banged on the window.
We ran away, just a few yards, until we knew they couldn't see us. We thought we were safe. But Guy was much angrier than we expected. He shouted terrible, horrifying threats and started climbing out the window!!
We booked it, not stopping to breathe or look behind us until we were safely at home.
I woke up the next morning, still in costume, with candy wrappers on my bed and glow sticks in my hair.
The only photo evidence of the night.
I know you don't care about any of this. But it's important to me, Riley, and Kevin so whatever. WOOPS I mean Luchador, Matchmaker, and La Roux.
Luchador and La Roux dated shortly after this, so the Matchmaker did her job I guess.
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