Blogger's Block

Hey there.

I realize I haven't posted in a while.  That's because I've been working through a really tough thing called "Blogger's Block."  Don't ask any questions, it's a super sensitive topic.

Anyway, the major symptom is feeling like I have nothing to write about.  Another symptom is barfing.  Probably.  I haven't actually experienced that one yet.

I talked to an expert, and she said the best way to cure the block is to post something on my blog, even if I don't feel good about it.  That's why what you are about to read is complete crap.  You know what?  Don't even read it.  You might be the one barfing if you do.

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I see you didn't take my advice.  Very well.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Or threaten you with severe digestive discomfort.

This had been my life lately:

(I meant to draw attention to the complicated nature of this photo, but now all I'm seeing is the Death Star, which might also be a very accurate representation of my life recently.  I'll let you figure that one out.)

For one thing, I'm getting mixed messages all over the place.  Well, not really, but the juxtaposition of these photos did cause quite the existential crisis:

I emailed the second picture to myself.  The email read, "Don't let this pic fool you.  You are your own best friend."  I've actually been emailing myself a lot since school started.  It feels pretty good.  The following is straight-up copy/pasted from an email two weeks ago:

Heeeeey there.

It's real awkward in this computer lab.  But you rock and you finished this paper like a boss.  Now eat some smelly crackers and print your paper.

Go watch Singin' in the Rain.  You deserve it.

Loves,

Amy

Hmm.  Yes.

I guess it's good that I'm writing this blog post.  I've had a lot of things to say lately, but Twitter is too restrictive and Facebook is too annoying (I keep saying I hate Facebook, but that's a lie based on how much time I spend on the dang thing).  I came this close to posting a few things.  Lucky for you, I didn't.  Even more lucky for you, I'm about to go crazy here, on my personal blog and therapeutic outlet. 

Get your game face on.

1.  Yesterday I deleted/organized my emails.  All 3,851 of them.  Then I had night cereal because I deserved it.

2.  At least 80% of all status updates I've ever seen are about the weather.  It's like Facebook small talk, except with Facebook there isn't a social obligation to say anything.  At all.  Stop it.

3.  I'm hilarious on Twitter.  Not really, but pretty please follow me anyway @AmyLouHilton.

4.  You know the buttons you push at crosswalks to get the walk signal?  I never push them an even number of times because I convinced myself it will cancel out my walking request.

5.  I have a lot of celebrity doppelgangers.  You remember THIS, right?  Well I've started getting a new one:  

Emma Stone

6.  Can you tell I just learned how to put links in my blog?  I'm excited about it, too.  As a matter of fact, I'm about to do it again.  HA.

7.  My cousin read THIS one and told me that he, too, thinks about the names printed on milk jugs.  He always thought they were the names of the cows that gave the milk, but realized that doesn't make sense because boy cows do not make milk.

8.  This post is like one of those episodes of a sitcom where they reminisce about things that happened in other episodes.  Also, I'm obsessed with television.  Good thing I work for a broadcasting company.

9.  I ran out of things to say.

10.  This is the end of the post.

11.  Wait, seriously.  Go home.

12.  Why are you still here?  I was about to take off my pants.

13.  Fine.  You know what?  The pants are coming off whether you like it or not.  I'm tired.

14.  Feeling awkward?  GOOD.  Now maybe you'll leave.

15.  Furreels?

16.  Look, you're not making this easy for me.

17.  Get!  Get outta here, you old dirty stray!  I never wanted you here in the first place!

Kbai Luv you!

2,000 Nickels = $100

If I had a nickel for every time somebody told me I looked like a celebrity, I'd probably have about $100 in nickels.

Ok, maybe that's just a guesstimate, but in all seriousness, people tell me that almost every other day.  Strangers, mostly.  People I barely know.  People I'm meeting.  People I know very well but who happen to be watching a TV show with my doppleganger in it.  Family members I haven't seen in a long time.  First dates.  Strangers at the crosswalk.  Dental hygienists.  The point is, I get it a lot.

There are three that I get most often:

1.  Mila Kunis

2.  Selena Gomez

3.  Lucy Hale

Please don't take this the wrong way, I am in no way complaining about these comments.  Have you SEEN these women?  They're gorgeous!  Mila Kunis was voted the Sexiest Woman Alive in 2012, so I literally have nothing that I could possibly complain about.  I'm completely and totally flattered every time I get one of these comments.

There's a but.

I might vaguely resemble some movie stars (emphasis on the word "vaguely"), and maybe I've learned how to correctly wash my hair and apply makeup and pluck my eyebrows, but all this means is that some people have unrealistic expectations.

Sometimes people expect me to be super talented in one way or another, and they always end up disappointed.  Also, a few people are completely flabbergasted when I tell them I'm single.  "You could probably marry anyone you wanted to at any time, couldn't you," say the almost-old ladies at church.  "You probably have plenty of guys chasing after you," say grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and neighbors.

Historically, there have been a few guys who were initially attracted to me for some reason, and then I started talking and messed everything up.  There are two reasons for this:

1.  I make really weird faces when I talk and I use my hands much too much.

2.  They have to listen to what I'm actually talking about.

A lot of people don't realize that on the inside, I'm still this awkward person:

Yes, this is really 13-year-old me.

(Keep in mind that this picture was taken 

long before wearing adult-sized footy pajamas

 was considered ironic, funny, or cool in any way.)

I'm actually still this person on the outside, usually.

There's not really a huge point I'm trying to make here, I'm mostly just babbling to myself on the internet.  There is one thing that's clear, however.  If the movie "Oz" is at all popular in one way or another, I know what I'm going to be for Halloween: